Some tips to help make stress…less stressful
It’s impossible to avoid stress. And, in fact, stress is a necessary component of our lives. Without stress, we stagnate. But, when there is more stress than our body can cope with or unrelenting (chronic) stress — then, we have a problem.
A lot of people in my personal and professional life have been feeling the effects of stress that feels unmanageable lately. I’ve written about chronic stress before — but today, I thought I’d share some strategies to help activate the parasympathetic nervous system and get some relief from the stress responses so many of us are living in.
BREATHWORK: My favorite one is the 4-7-8 breath. Click on my video here to see a demonstration, but it’s simple. Breathe in for 4 counts, hold your breath for 7 counts, then slowly breathe out for 8 counts through pursed lips, a (widely) open mouth, or through a rolled tongue. Or even through your nose. Do two rounds. I like to do it first thing in the morning and right before bed — and as needed throughout the day. You can modify it for kids to 5-5-5 or 4-5-6 or whatever variation works for them. The effects are truly noticeable and immediate!
QUIET IT DOWN: Shut off screens, turn down the lights and the volume in your life and home. Try dinner by candlelight with your family (or friends — or in your own wonderful company) to wind it down even further. Avoid screens, especially social media, where information, images, and videos can overload us and take us on a roller coaster of unprocessed emotions. Quiet down the stress by calming the sensory input. You may be surprised by what a difference this makes.
MOVE YOUR BODY: This could be exercise, but it could also simply be movement. Stretching, wiggling, dancing, shaking — any movement will do, as long as it feels good in your body. Sometimes we are stuck in our stress because our bodies are stuck — and moving that energy around can be a powerful way to start releasing our stress.
GET INTO NATURE: I’ve written before on how powerfully calming nature is — so take advantage of the natural world’s soothing impact on our health. You could even incorporate the previous tip and move in nature.
PRIORITIZE SLEEP: Both sleep and exercise help rebalance the HPA axis (much more on this here), and it is so important to get the sleep we need to be able to be healthy and vibrant — and to manage stress.
ADAPTOGENS: I’ve written about chronic stress and adaptogens before, and, in addition to all the lifestyle changes on this list, these “balancing” botanicals truly can be so supportive. There are many different adaptogens — some should not be used while pregnant or breastfeeding, and many cannot be used in children. So, adaptogens do need to be used under the guidance of a professional who is well trained in their use.
CONNECT TO COMMUNITY: We often feel so isolated when we are stressed out and dig ourselves deeper into our hole by enforcing our solitude. But community is so good for our mental health — it’s a reminder that there are people out in the world who care about us and that we are not alone in all we are feeling. As the Buddhist story goes (paraphrased): a woman who experienced unbearable loss goes to the Buddha to ask for the medicine to reverse that loss. The Buddha tells her to obtain a mustard seed from a house in the city where no one has known loss. She is unable to do so because, as she discovers as she visits houses one by one — we are all touched by loss. We are all struggling with something. And connecting with the truth that we all struggle — and with our community — has the power to ease our pain.
GET CREATIVE: Times of stress are perfect for creative expression. Use that energy to create a painting, a story, a dance — paint your walls a color that you love. Our creativity is a great gift and outlet for our expression — even (and maybe especially?) for expressing our stress.
TAKE CARE OF YOUR BODY: prioritize eating nourishing food and drinking lots of water — as well as sleeping, limiting screen time and increasing movement, nature, and community (all the things mentioned above). Avoid people, activities, and things that drain you, which includes alcohol. Alcohol can seem like a good idea when we’re stressed, but it actually depletes our energies and can paradoxically lead to a more severe experience of stress because of the impact alcohol has on our nervous system.
RETHINK STRESS: Remembering that stress is necessary for growth and change — and life! — can help us experience a stressful event in a more nuanced, and even positive, way. Going through a stressful experience helps us deal with similar stressful experiences the next time we encounter them and stress itself leads to rewiring that allows us to remember and learn from the experience. [1] Other ways that invite us to experience stress differently are:
-connecting with the meaning of the path you’re on
-identifying what you learn and how you grow from a stressful experience
-view your body’s stress response as helpful — it’s energy to use
-view yourself as able to handle stress
-connect with the fact that everyone experiences stress [1]
REACH OUT TO PROFESSIONALS: If you are feeling like you can’t go on or are having thoughts of hurting yourself or others, call 988 now. If your stress or overwhelm is impacting your life in significant ways, get professional help from a mental health provider, like a therapist, psychologist, or psychiatrist. You can also join a support group on sites like betterhelp and psychology today.
You do not have to do this alone — there are so many resources available to you.
I hope this helps!