Diving into a mindfulness meditation practice
“What is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?”
~ Mary Oliver
This quote from the poet Mary Oliver is always so moving to me -- a deeply felt truth that our lives are all unique, wild and precious. To me, though, it is also a reminder that so many of us live in a preoccupied state, where our lives are passing by almost unconsciously. So many of us aren’t fully experiencing our lives because we aren’t fully present in them. One way I (and many others) have found to truly live every wild and precious moment is through mindfulness.
Mindfulness is simply being focused on the present moment on purpose. It is being rather than doing. Which is at the heart of the saying, “Don’t just do something -- sit there!”
One of the many ways we can cultivate and practice mindfulness is through meditation, which can be done seated, walking, lying down, or even when we bring our full attention and presence to everyday tasks like brushing our teeth or washing the dishes. Here are some easy steps to start practicing meditation and mindfulness RIGHT NOW. Let’s dive in together!
Clear space: clear a space in your home for meditation. If you can dedicate a corner of one room, great. If you can’t, make sure to clear the area out enough so you can sit or lie there comfortably and calmly. You can sit on the ground, on a cushion, on a meditation stool or even on a chair. You can even lie on the ground, although sometimes it can be more difficult to maintain focus that way (instead of drift off to sleep). If you can, sit up straight (but not rigid -- Jon Kabat Zinn uses “dignified” to describe sitting in meditation) and have your back away from the wall or back of the chair, if you are using either of those for stability. But if you need to lean against something for comfort, do it! The point is to have your body be alert but calm -- you won’t be able to focus if you are in pain trying to sit up without support behind your back. Often, though, some support under the hips can be an even better solution (eg a cushion that lifts your rear so that your knees can touch the ground in a cross-legged position). Others find that kneeling on the ground with a cushion between their legs or under their rear is most comfortable. With some experimenting and some support (literally physical support: cushions, pillows, a chair, a stool, a rolled up blanket or yoga blocks), you will find the most comfortable position for yourself that day. And it might change! Our bodies are different every day, so it can be an interesting journey to see what works better one day compared to the last, how quiet your mind can be one day and how overwhelmed with chatter the next. Your only job is to be here and notice. And keep breathing.
Especially if you’re new to meditation, meditating at the same time of day every day can make it easier to establish a new practice and help it become part of your everyday life.
Many people use an altar, which is basically just a special place to hold a collection of objects that are meaningful to you. You could arrange them on a low bench, box, or small table -- or even a windowsill. Your chosen objects could represent what you are already grateful for or what you would like to invite into your life. For example, if you are wanting to invite more beauty or nature into your life, you could put a flower or a beautiful branch on your altar. Candles can create beauty, warmth, and light. Incense can offer scent and beautiful curls of smoke. If you do use an altar, face it when you meditate and keep it clean and reflective of what you are needing and cultivating in your life right now.
Set a timer: Start with 5 minutes -- or even 1 minute! Setting a timer creates a clear limit for how long you will be in meditation and can allow you to be fully in the moment instead of keeping one eye on the clock to see how much time you have left.
Watch your breath, and know that thoughts will arise. Many people mistakenly believe that if you have thoughts or restlessness while you meditate, then you’re “doing it wrong.” This is not true! Not only does this misinterpret what meditation is – which is a being not a doing (so you can’t do it wrong, since there is nothing to do!). But also, everyone has thoughts when they meditate that take them out of being in the present moment. Being present to all that is and returning again and again to your breath and the present moment is the practice. The spaces between your thoughts will get bigger and quieter the more you practice. Close your eyes and breathe through your nose. Listen to your breath, feel the temperature of the air going in and out of your nostrils. Notice if air is moving more through one nostril or the other. Feel the air on your skin, and the difference in temperature between body parts that are clothed and ones that are exposed to the air. Let your breath happen spontaneously, so that the experience is not so much breathing as “being breathed.” Feel your breath slow as your nervous system settles, feel the turn of the breath at the end of each inhalation and exhalation. Sit in the pause between the end of the exhalation and the beginning of the next inhalation.
As you can see, there is so much to notice in your breath! This is only the tip of the iceberg. There are countless smells, sensations, sounds, tastes -- and quiet -- to notice. Closing your eyes is not absolutely necessary, but it often makes meditation easier, as it gives us a chance to notice what is going on internally with our other senses. Vision often dominates our sensory experience and focuses on the external world. But if you are somewhere that is calming, beautiful, restorative, or special to you -- by all means, keep your eyes open and drink in the experience of being in those nourishing surroundings. But try to keep your eyes focused softly somewhere instead of looking all around.
Close your practice. You can use a mantra (e.g., “The divine in me honors and delights in the divine in all of us”) or a gesture (e.g., bowing) to close your practice, honor this threshold, and weave in the mindfulness you experienced during your practice into the rest of your day. When you practice for years, the distinction between formal practice like seated or walking meditation and your “regular” life starts to blur, and you begin to live each moment in a state of awareness that can be called in when the mind or body wanders – essentially, every moment becomes part of your practice.
Micromoments and macromoments:
Experience this every-moment practice with micromoments of meditation, like brushing your teeth, showering, or even taking out the garbage. And also macromoments like breastfeeding, lying with your child as they fall asleep and other longer stretches of quiet time.
Here are two of my favorite micromoment meditations:
Morning heartbeat: Start your morning with noticing: wake up and feel your body in your bed, see the sun streaming in, feel your heartbeat in your chest. Perceive with your senses the miracle of your heart continuing to beat to sustain your precious, miraculous life. Take that awareness with you as you get out of bed and start your meditation practice, walk to the bathroom, brush your teeth, and continue to embark upon your day.
Morning sip: settle in and truly experience your morning hot beverage. Inhale the aroma and warm steam, feel the warm cup in your hands, savor the flavor in your mouth, feel the temperature on your tongue, feel the warmth moving down your body with each swallow. Take a moment to decide what energy to invite into and manifest in your day (often called “setting an intention”). It could be gratitude, calmness, delight or even focus or presence. Consider – by feeling into your body – what you need today and use that to guide your intention for this day.
Hopefully this helps de-mystify meditation, which is really just paying attention on purpose, so that you can be present and truly alive and awake in every moment of your life. With daily practice, you will start to notice real changes -- you will be more present and will feel more choice in places where you used to be simply reacting unconsciously. And it will get easier and easier to drop into a place of real presence and quiet. Meditation is a lifelong practice that offers a way of being even though we live in a world of doing. Even just a minute or two every day can make a profound change in the way you experience your one wild and precious life.
Photo by Noelle Otto